During the first few weeks baby's day is a continuous cycle of feed, quiet time, settling and sleep. It's important at this stage to develop a settling technique they become familiar with, which reassures and calms them. Use the same technique wherever you are, whenever baby needs to go to sleep. This relaxes them and prepares them for bed - just like music, a cup of tea or a good book may work for adults. Remember, a settling technique is not to put the baby to sleep, but to prepare the baby for sleep - so he can learn to go to sleep by himself.
Steps for Settling
1. Baby will be ready for sleep once you have fed him, changed his nappy and had a quiet play time (total time awake 1 1/2 hours). Play, in the first few weeks will be a bath or a cuddle and a quiet chat (about 15 minutes). By 8 weeks, playtime may have stretched to 30 minutes, including some tummy time on the floor, sitting in a baby rocker, and "chatting" together while you have a snack or a drink.
2. Watch for the signals that baby is tired and ready for bed:
- Starts to grizzle
- Kicks and thrashes arms and legs
- Frowns or pulls a distressed face
- These are signals that baby has had enough. If you miss these signals and keep giving baby more play, then they become overtired and may be more difficult to settle.
3. When baby signals that he has had enough, pick him up, wrap him and cuddle him against you. Talk softly and soothingly, or quietly hum or sing, as you carry him to his cot - in a darkened room, away from the household activities.
4. Place baby on his back in the cot as recommended by the National SIDS Council.(See SIDS Brochure)
5. Gently pat or rock briefly to settle, then leave while baby is still awake.
6. If baby grizzles, wait a minute or so to see if he can settle on his own.
7. If baby continues to cry, or is distressed, return and try to comfort him and settle him in the cot.
Tips for Resettling:
- Rewrap if that helps.
- Try giving a dummy or soother.
- Pat firmly and rhythmically then slow down as baby calms.
- Gently rock baby's bed (again, slow down as he calms).
- Check baby is not too hot or cold.
- Try music, or singing quietly.
- Once baby is calm, try leaving him to settle on his own.
If Baby Keeps Crying, Check:
- Feeding: Did he have all his usual feed? Are my breasts soft? If he only had a short feed maybe he needs a top up. (If top ups are needed often, try to encourage baby to have a good feed at feed time so he can have a good sleep after.)
- Dirty nappy: Maybe he has become unsettled by a tummy ache, that leads to a very dirty nappy.
- Wind: Does he need another burp?
Settling Solutions
1. Unsettled every afternoon at 3.00pm?
Every afternoon at 2.30pm give them a warm, deep relaxation bath. Or take them in the pram to the park - the regular movement and gentle rocking should put them to sleep. But don't stop at the shops on the way, as the noise will stimulate the baby and make him more difficult to resettle.
2. What if my baby wakes after 30 or 40 minutes?
After 40 minutes, baby's sleep cycle changes. This is often the time they stir and are easily woken or disturbed. If they stir, just listen and see if they resettle. If they're awake and crying, wait a minute or two. If they don't stop, go in and resettle, using your usual technique.
If All Else Fails!
- Rewrap baby, tuck him into the pram, and roll the pram back and forth over a bump or join between the carpet and the lino, or the edge of a mat, or a coathanger.
- Ask your partner or ask a friend to help you settle the baby. (You may be transferring your anxiety to the baby.)
- Try a deep relaxation bath.
- Stand up, hold baby resting face down over your arm at waist level, with his head at your elbow and your hand under his hips - and pat baby's bottom rhythmically with your other hand as you sway gently back and forth.
- Call your Child Health Nurse, or ring one of the 24 hour help lines.
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