Settling your baby

All babies cry sometimes; in fact, the average baby cries about two and a half hours a day.

During the first few weeks, baby’s day is a continuous cycle of feed, quiet time, settling and sleep. Remember – unsettled behaviour is normal in newborns.

It is important, at this stage, to develop a settling technique your baby becomes familiar with, which reassures and calms them. Use the same technique wherever you are, whenever baby needs to go to sleep. This relaxes them and prepares them for bed – just like music, a cup of tea, or a good book may work for adults.

A settling technique is not to put the baby to sleep, but to prepare baby for sleep —so he or she can learn to go to sleep by themselves.

feed play sleep cycle diagram

Steps for settling

STEP 1:

Baby will be ready for sleep once you have fed him or her, changed their nappy, and had a quiet play time (total time awake 1 1/2 hours). Play, in the first few weeks, will be a bath or a cuddle and a quiet chat (about 15 mins). By eight weeks, playtime may have stretched to 30 minutes, including some tummy time on the floor, sitting in a baby rocker chair and “chatting” together while you have a snack or a drink.

STEP 2:

Watch for signals that baby is tired and ready for bed. These are signals that baby has had enough. If you miss these signals, and keep giving baby more play, then they become overtired, and more difficult to settle.

Signs to watch for:

Starts to grizzle
Becomes tense and agitated
Kicks and thrashes arms and legs
Frowns or pulls a distressed face

STEP 3:

When baby signals they’ve had enough, pick them up, wrap him or her and cuddle them against you. Talk softly and soothingly, or quietly hum or sing, as you carry them to their cot – in a darkened room, away from the household activities.

STEP 4:

Place baby on their back in the cot on a firm mattress, as recommended by the National SIDS Council.

STEP 5:

Gently pat or rock briefly to settle and then leave while baby is still awake.

STEP 6:

If baby grizzles, wait a minute or so to see if they can settle on their own.

STEP 7:

If baby continues to cry, or becomes distressed, return and try to comfort and settle him or her in the cot.

Tips for resettling

Rewrap if that helps.
Try giving a dummy or soother.
Pat gently and rhythmically and then slow down as baby calms.
Check baby is not too hot or cold.
Play soft music or sing quietly.
Once baby is calm, try leaving them to settle on their own.

If baby keeps crying, check:

Feeding: Did he or she have all their usual feed? Are my breasts soft? If only a short feed, maybe they need a top up? (If top ups are needed often, try to encourage baby to have a good feed at feed time so he or she can have a good sleep afterwards).
Dirty nappy: Maybe he’s become unsettled by a tummy ache, which has lead to a dirty nappy.
Wind: Does he need another burp?

Settling solutions

1. Unsettled every afternoon?

Set up a regular afternoon routine. Every afternoon, at the same time, give baby a warm, deep relaxation bath or take them in the pram to the park. Try not to stop at the shops on the way, as the noise will stimulate baby and make him or her
more difficult to resettle.

2. What if my baby wakes after 30 or 40 minutes?

After 40 minutes, baby’s sleep cycle changes. This is often the time they stir and are easily woken or disturbed. If they stir, just listen and see if they resettle. If they’re awake and crying, wait a minute or two. If they don’t stop, go in and resettle, using your usual technique.

If all else fails!

Rewrap baby, tuck him or her in the pram, and roll the pram back and forth over a bump or join between the carpet and lino, or the edge of a mat or a coat hanger.
Ask your partner or a friend to help you settle baby. (You may be transferring your anxiety to baby).
Stand up, hold baby resting face-down over your arm at waist level, with his or her head at your elbow and your hand under their hips – and pat baby’s bottom rhythmically with your other hand as you sway gently back and forth.
Call your Child Health Nurse, or ring one of these 24 hour help lines.

                    Tresillian: Available 24 hours, 7 days.
                    Freecall 1800 637 357
                    http://www.cs.nsw.gov.au/tresillian/

                    Karitane: Available 24 hours, 7 days.
                    Freecall 1800 677 961
                    http://www.karitane.com.au/